13 Films You Can Avoid This Autumn


Although we are now in the season of serious movies in the run up to Awards time (yes, the Oscars are months away but the race has already begun), not every film released between now and Christmas is going to be good.

Some look distinctly not so good at all.

So as a counterpoint to my earlier post on upcoming unmissable films, here is a selection of movies you can safely wait to show up on cable one rainy afternoon, or can watch if you’re stuck on a plane.

90 Minutes in Heaven

Anakin Skywalker stays completely away from the Dark Side and goes toward the light … then he comes back. If you pay to see this in the cinema, you get exactly what you deserve.

But if you like this sort of thing, then you’ll probably enjoy:

Captive

Shit, not even Omar be reason enough to see this.

The Intern

Old people are weird, right? Always whining about kids not dressing properly. And how about those youngsters with their “twatter” and their “hashbrowns”! #ohgodthislooksterrible

Regression

Ethan Hawke and Emma Watson in a genre piece that looks to be so by the numbers it might just fall asleep on itself

Pan

Clap if you believe this will be shite.

Burnt

In a couple of years this will be filler on the Food Network.

Love the Coopers

Ah, yes, the warmhearted Christmas comedy. Frantic last minute shopping. Hectic travelling. Laughter, tears, misunderstandings. But in the end, you know, we’re a family.

The Night Before

Joseph Gordon-Levitt has two must-see films due this season: The Walk and Snowden … he also has this.

The 33

Now this is gonzo casting. Antonio Banderas and Benjamin Bratt are joined by well-known Latin actors Bob Gunton and Gabriel Byrne. Spoiler Alert: they all survived.

Creed

Another Rocky sequel, sort of. Can this boxing drama punch its way all the way to the title, or will it lose to the cliches by a knockout?

And speaking of boxing dramas …

Southpaw

Great cast. The movie, though. Oy!

Victor Frankenstein

I like my Igors to be ugly and hunchbacked, thank you.

Point Break

Admit it, you want to hate-watch this completely unnecessary remake to the Patrick Swayze-Keanu Reeves surfer dude heist movie.

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