Um, wow, that is to say, er, gosh, that is … uh, there is this new movie with um, me … I mean, that is to say, Jeff Goldblum, and it’s … well … wow, sort of like Independence Day. You remember that, right? The … huh … fat lady singing, and how Will Smith and I saved the world with a computer virus.
Well, in fact the new movie is exactly like Independence Day. The only difference is that there’s a subtitle – Resurgence – and everyone’s twenty years older. Including, um, me. I mean, look at me. I’m still, uh, sexy and smart, but now I’m mature, sexy and smart.
And, hey, I’m not the only one returning. I mean there’s, uh, Bill Pullman. He’ll be making another inspiring speech, no doubt, and gritting his teeth a lot and doing that, huh, thing with his voice where he sort of clears his throat to sound dignified. And Judd Hirsch is back playing my pop. Expect, uh, lots of kvetching and paternal wisdom.
And, uh, we have Liam Hemsworth (I’m guessing we couldn’t afford Chris). Oh, and the aliens, uh, they’re back, too. And they’re, uh, pissed.
What do you, um, think? I might need more than an Apple Powerbook this time, huh?
first published at 2paragraphs